I won...

So I got one of the biggest surprises of my life today. Never in a million years did I actually think this would happen. So you know how you go to some places and people want you to fill out these cards to possibly win a trip to some place nice. Well I am one of those people and I actually won! When I got back from the Philippines at the beginning of the month, the New York State Fair was going on. This is the third year the fair has gone on while I have been in Syracuse, so I finally went. I got stopped by someone to fill out this card, and what is weird we were all joking around about what would happen if we win. Well I got a phone call today with someone saying that I filled out a card at the State Fair and that my card was pulled. I was like "Holy Crap." I was caught up in the moment, all humbleness was thrown out of the window. I am floating because I just won this 2 week vacation. The guy starts telling me all the places I would go to Orlando, Daytona, Fort Lauderdale, and the Bahamas all in 2 weeks. It seems like a dream come true right...wrong! Now they needed a processing fee for each person on the trip, which would be two people at a total of $249 a person for a grand total of $498. This is where I start to look at the situation. It is a nice deal, but should I accept this. Given the fact that I am with the Brothers, major permission would have to be granted. They couldn't take the money later, it had to be at that moment with me on the phone no call backs. I went to Br. Dan and told him the situation and he told me to decline because it was probably a scam. How I wish it wasn't though. How I wish it was legit and that could of been my vacation after novitiate. Br. Dan humbled me back down, but I am just excited that I did win, even though I didn't accept the prize.

In other news our basement is done and it looks really nice. My provincial is coming tomorrow for his visitation. Tomorrow is our Foundation Day and we are going out to eat tomorrow night, should be fun!

5th Grade

This year is going to be a challenging year in many ways. One it is starting the phase of my novitiate that I really have to sit down and pray about because during this time I am going to have to write a letter to request vows. Now I am not going to go into this trying to make vows just because I can, but I really want to consider this next stage of formation and what I am getting myself into. This is going to be my commitment and let's be honest people in this generation have a problem with commitment, I just hope I am not one of those. However, what is great is that I am enjoying the time that I have by myself and reflecting. Second, my apostolic assignment might drive me up a wall. I am super excited to be teaching Religious Education to get a jump start for my future, but I am really nervous after my first class. So I only have 5 students, just 5 and I am really grateful for that. Now I think some of them have a hard time paying attention, but maybe all 5th graders have a low attention span. So my goal is to teach them there lessons as well as put the lessons into there hands, make them read the material and present it to the class. Then hopefully we can have a class discussion on it all. That is my goal. They are all really nice kids, so this should be a fun learning experience for me as well as for them.

In other news, one of my closest friends has moved back to Syracuse. This makes me super excited, unfortunately I am not sure how many times I could actually see her.

Other things I am looking forward to is the end of the week when my provincial comes by as well as for next week when I will be able to speak to students at Mount St. Charles Academy, our school in Rhode Island. I also get to see some Brothers from the south as well as some of my cousins from the south. The next two weeks should be a good.

Evaluations...

Gosh I really hate doing evaluations. It just adds on to the pressure that one is already feeling going through this process. Now I know I haven't updated in a while, so forgive me. I did receive the evaluation from the Philippines and to be honest I got really upset with it. I didn't feel that some of the information provided was correct based on situations. I am not going to dwell on that though. I am still going to be the happy me. I also have been spending time on a daily basis doing my own evaluation that I will be discussing with my provincial later on this week. We will also be discussing other things as well.

Nothing to exciting has been going on in my life. This Tuesday I start teaching my religious education class down at St. Daniel's. Last night I did go to a Young Alumni event at Le Moyne College. It was just really great seeing some of my friends. I had a blast with them and it was really nice for me to get out. I don't get out very often.

This is going to be a short blog. In other news my great aunt passed away this morning at the age of 92. It was my grandfather's oldest sister and the last sister he has. Please keep my aunt and my family in all of your prayers!

Dead Man Walking

So I received my evaluation yesterday from one of the Brothers over in the Philippines. There are good parts, then there are the not so good parts. However, it seems that the negative parts always bring me down, make me feel like a failure. I don't think anybody really enjoys receiving negative feedback especially young people in this generation. It bothers me at first, then I get over it. No matter what negative comments or concerns are brought up to me, it is a way for me to grow. Thus far in my novitiate I have felt that I have grown and the Philippines helped me see the world differently. I am also working on my own evaluation at this time, which I am mentioning different aspects of the Philippines. I am taking my evaluation day by day, not trying to rush to get through it, just simply going at my own pace.

Other than that I stated reading "Dead Man Walking" by Sr. Helen Prejean. Now I had the opportunity to meet Sr. Helen a few years ago when one of her sisters in her community, Sisters of St. Joseph, was making her final profession. I really didn't know who she was, but most recently she was up in the upstate New York area to talk at one of the colleges. I didn't attend, but it made me interested in reading her book. Now I only started the book yesterday and have already read about 100 pages. I actually teared up in reading it. I just felt the emotion that she was experiencing when faced with this guy who was not responsible for there deaths and trying to save his life, but was not successful. It really made me think about the death penalty and how as a pro-life person, I should be against such acts like that. I wonder how many pro-lifers just focus on abortion and forget about the death penalty all together. As Catholics we are to respect all life, even those lives of people who have taken a life away. I feel as if the death penalty is a way to seek revenge for some people who have had to face losing a loved one. I would rather them face the hardships of prison life, in some sense realize what they did, then have them killed. It seems to simple. These are just the thoughts running through my mind.

Great Weekend...

So this weekend was my birthday weekend. Now originally I thought I wasn't going to be able to do anything this weekend because I had my formation program this weekend in New Jersey. It was the first one for the new school year. It is not hard for me to come out of my comfort zone, so it didn't take long for me to befriend everyone. I had a total blast with everyone. Even though we are at presentations, which were on the history of religious life, we are all connected by a common bond that is our calling to live out a religious vocation. Now each of us has a different background, yet we can relate to each other regardless of ages. There are some people in there 50's in the program and they are really great people and fun to be around. So with that being said, I didn't know if I was going to be able to do anything for my birthday. After the evening session was done a group of them decided to take me out. In the town next to where we were we found a nice place to sit down and have a drink. It was really great, probably the best birthday I have had in a long time. I really am grateful to my new friends for there generosity and gracious welcoming. I was also volun-told pretty much by the group to be on the social committee, I think it has something to do with my personality, plus I was willing to accept. The job of the committee is to help organize events for the Saturday evening time once we are free. This should be fun!

One lesson that I learned this weekend is how grateful I am to all those out there who are praying for me. The biggest gift I could ask somebody to do for me is to pray for me because that means the world to me. For some reason I am really happy right now with the way things are. I know it isn't going to be like this forever because I do have my good days and my bad days, but knowing that others are praying for and supporting me through there prayers is what gives me strength. Knowing that I am surrounded by great people let's me really know that God is with me and guiding me.

Okay...

So I don't have a witty title for this blog. I was going to blog last night, but got distracted helping a friend out. I have learned through my interactions with some of my friends that I am a great listener and that I also give really helpful advice. One friend I talked to a few days ago was in a situation she needed help with. I just gave her the advice that she needed to do and when she followed my advice everything seemed to work out well. Maybe I should be a counselor? However, it goes to show that a religious doesn't need to be in a relationship to help others out that are in one. It is something my little sister needs to hear, but she would never turn to me anyway.

The past few days have been really slow paced. Monday started formation classes for me, which are now two hours a day four days a week. It isn't bad, but it is also the first week. I think I am going to enjoy this routine only because then it won't have me trying to find things to do in my spare time. With the way my schedule is now, I can spend some time to myself in the morning and in the afternoon go do some exercising and read. I am still feeling a little lazy and I really need to clean my room.

One thing I was able to do is write a letter for one of my professors to help her in her application for tenure at Le Moyne College. What an honor it was to be asked to write something like this for her. I was very thankful that she had asked me because she was probably one of my favorite teachers while at Le Moyne. In her class she would have the students read the assignment and one student lead the discussion for that class. It wasn't just her lecturing the whole time, it was more of a class dialogue and I got so much more out of the classes I had with her by doing that. She was also very supportive in meeting with me to discuss paper topics and to review my papers. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have entered the philosophy essay contest, the contest that I ended up winning. She was so supportive and encouraging. Not only is she a teacher of mine, but she has also become a friend and I always enjoy seeing her when I go back to the school. I am thankful for a teacher like her.

3 days till my birthday! 3 days till I start the new formation program with other religious.

Much Better...

So I seem to be feeling much better about being back in the states, not as depressed and sad as I was when I first got back. Things are looking up. I begin my formation classes tomorrow or at least I think they begin tomorrow, so kind of looking forward to that. Also next weekend is my first formation weekend with others in formation, hopefully that will be a blast, plus it will be since next Saturday is my birthday.

On Friday, I had a meeting with a choir friend of mine who is in charge of Religious Education down at St. Daniel's, which is the parish down the street from me. They needed volunteers to teach Religious Education, so I thought this would be a great apostolic assignment for me since they want me to teach religion in the future anyway. Found out that I will be teaching 5th graders. That's a fun age and should be interesting. Br. Dan and I were hard at work tearing up the carpet in our basement here in Syracuse because a few weeks ago there was a really back rain that saturated all the carpet in the basement. Insurance has come and looked at it. We did it faster than I thought we would have it done it. So to celebrate it, since it was just Br. Dan and I here, we went and ate at Outback Steakhouse, which was really good. I had myself a really good ribeye. Now we had ordered a blooming onion, but we didn't get it, we still asked for it, and lucky enough we got it for free. Outback makes the best. We bought some throw rugs for the basement since we will be getting tiles instead of new carpet, just to make the basement feel more like a home. I also got myself a new candle, that's right I am really happy about a new candle. I use them when I pray.

Saturday I was able to sleep in, which was quite nice. My sleep cycle is almost back to normal. As soon as I woke up we began to work again. I took out the bed in Br. Mike's old room, which is now going to be Brian's room when he moves here in two weeks. So we were both hard at work cleaning, setting up the bed, moving desks around. It was hard on the back. I am still sore. I decided not to go work out because of all the heavy lifting we were doing. Later that evening we went to the Irish Festival for about an hour. Mostly just listened to the music, but when we first got to the stage, I was able to witness a proposal that was planned, how nice was that. I pray that they have a happy life together. I also got myself a cigar, which the last time I had one was at the Irish Festival last year. I was just happy to have been able to go to the Irish Festival.

Today I went to the gym and then grocery shopping. I felt like I was going back and forth all over the store today forgetting certain items and such, but it all got done. I went to Lake Onondaga for a little while and I say a little while because it began to rain. It was very windy out there, which wasn't bad, I enjoyed it. I just felt like it was God and me and he was speaking to me through the wind. I really feel like when it is windy that the Holy Spirit is blowing at the same time. Went to Mass at Le Moyne and saw a friend of mine who is about to start on a long road trip. It was great seeing her.

My birthday is on Saturday, yay!

Yes, sleep...

So again I do apologize for not posting sooner, but since I am not longer in the Philippines, my life has not been that interesting, if staying at the house all day and working on a synthesis paper of my experience is of anyone's fancy. I have had the hardest time going to sleep since I have been back. However, that all changed two nights ago because I took a sleeping aid that is suppose to help reduce difficulty falling asleep. Well it seems to work because I have been able to sleep a lot better and not wake up in the middle of the night and stay up. This weekend I am going to try to sleep without the pill. At least my head is no longer hurting.

Things are slowly starting to pick up for me though. Tomorrow I have a meeting with my friend Paul down at St. Daniel's, the parish down the street from my house. It is the parish I enjoy going to and I am part of the choir. I will be teaching one of the PSR classes as part of my apostolic work. I know it will be a challenge because I will probably be working with elementary kids, so this should be interesting. I want to have some kind of experience before I actually have to get in front a classroom in the future to teach high school students.

I have been able to get myself back into the gym, but realized still how much I hate working out. I wish it was as easy as playing basketball. I wanted to try zumba, but the place that had it right next to the gym I am closed, what a bummer. I learned how much I could sweat when I learned some choreography in the Philippines.

"How have I encountered God in my apostolic experience?" has been the question I have been reflecting on in regards to my synthesis paper. I spent most of the day thinking about this and wrote a rough draft of the paper. Where I saw God most in my experience was in the different people that I was able to meet and the lessons they taught me. Not knowing that I too was teaching them lessons and changing their minds and hearts at the same time. I actually was getting kind of emotional writing the paper because it really had me wishing that I was back over there to repeat these experiences. They are just really powerful and some of them include emotion. I know once I present it I might break down, but in the end that is good because it means that they left and impression on me.

Can't sleep...

I know it has been another long time since I have blogged. Since Friday night I have not been able to sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night and I am wide awake. Then it gets really hard for me to go back to sleep. This is what I have been dealing with the past few days and my head is starting to hurt from being tired. I am praying that I can get over this and finally readjust my body clock to American time.

Other than that, just been trying to take it kind of slow. I have pretty much unpacked everything, but my room still seems to be a mess. I just need some more storage space, which would be nice. Haven't returned to formation mode yet with Br. Dan. I am doing things on my own. For instance, last night I was not able to go to bed right away so I went into the chapel and prayed a Rosary, grant it I was falling in and out of sleep while praying it. I am not even sure if I made it through the whole thing before waking up and relocating to my bed. Hopefully things will pick up and I can finally catch my rest.

I miss the Philippines!

Miss

Gosh I miss the Philippines. I really miss it a lot especially since I am starting to spend more time by myself. I just hope that I have the strength and the perseverance to get through the next year and survive the rest of the novitiate. This is why I really need to turn to God. I found God there in the Philippines now I just need to find it when I am by myself.

Now I really didn't do much today. I overslept this morning, I didn't even here my alarm go off. I was just really tired last night, but I am glad that I was able to catch up on my rest.

Now this evening I did head to the State Fair here in New York. Everything at the fair is really expensive, but it was also the first time I went to the New York State Fair. My feet are really tired and I am now getting tired again. Should be a slow weekend, trying to finish up cleaning my room and getting use to being back here in Syracuse.

I'm back in Syracuse...

It has been way too long since the last time I blog. This past weekend there were two going away parties, one for me in Digos and the other one was with the Brothers in Matina. At the Digos party I was able to invite some students and some staff members. It was really sad for me because I did get emotional. However, I was blessed to be around such a great group of people while I was in the Philippines and I also really like the souvenirs they got for me. Sunday night was the one for the Brothers and it was emotional as well, but not like Digos and the Brothers got us some souvenirs as well, so let me just say I ended up having to buy another bag for everything. I was able to see some of the Benedictine monks on Sunday night because they came by. When they were leaving I thought it would be fun to play a joke on them like pretending they ran my foot over. However, when I did it Br. Nathaniel did indeed run over my foot. It didn't hurt and he felt really bad, but I told him it was my fault because I was trying to joke around.

My last Monday in the Philippines was spent saying my goodbyes as well as doing some last minute shopping. I was blessed that Janette, Leslie, Rey, and Ruben were there willing to shop with me. I felt like I was boring them to death. I wouldn't have asked for a better last day then this one with them. That evening we (meaning Janette, Leslie, Rey, and Ruben and all the Brothers) went out to eat. I wasn't feeling too well so I didn't eat much. When it was time to say goodbye to Janette and company I held it together. I didn't want to cry because I know that someday in the future I will see them again, that's a promise. I will return!

Tuesday is the day we left for Manila. Now we had about 16 hours in Manila so we were able to see some sights and visit with the Brothers there. Manila is completely different from what the south looks like. Manila is more developed and traffic stinks. I really enjoyed my time with the Brothers there. Then Br. Dan and I went to our hotel to try to catch our sleep.

Then the 24 hour journey began. It was really long and tiring. It is really hard for me to sleep on a plane. After we got back from Japan into Detroit we had to hurry to catch our next flight that was soon to board. As I am walking to our gate, who is sitting down in the terminal, none other than Lady Antebellum. I was star struck and tried to go sit as close to them as I possibly could. I didn't say anything to them or try to get in there way. However, when I was going to my seat on the plane, I did tell the girl singer in the group that I was a fan and she thanked me and I touched her arm. It was pretty amazing.

Now I haven't really finishing unpacking yet, and I am still super tired. Busy weekend ahead will try to blog if I can.