Alone

So yesterday started off with me kind of stressing. The novena for Sunday was going to be held at 7 a.m., but I found out the night before it was moved to 7:30, but when 7:30 came around, I had no musician, no readings, and freaking out because I didn't know what to do. We had to tweek things around to make them work, but everything was okay. Br. Poloy wanted me to go with him to visit his family. Just recently his baby nephew passed away, but I had other things that I had to do so I couldn't attend. He mentioned to me that he doesn't want me to feel alone here when I am home by myself. I told him, that I never feel alone here because they make me feel welcomed and ask me how I am doing. I guess you can say people in the states are so self-sufficient that they don't bother to ask. I also went to Davao, it was the first time back to Davao since moving to Digos and the first time I was able to go to SM mall. I wanted to get some Filipino shirts, which I did and I also met a big group of Americans who have been in the Philippines for 7 years. They were missionaries and they were about to start an orphanage on an island that I just so happened to have been too. They were pretty nice. I also had Pizza Hut, I know you are probably thinking they have that here in the Philippines, yes they do. Then the Brothers and I made our way to Catalunan Grande for a birthday celebration as well as a goodbye party to the other group. Simply put it, bye! I was happy that I was able to see the other Brothers that I got to know my first week here. I sure do miss joking with them. It was also good to see Br. Dan, I think he is enjoying himself because he will be teaching a class to the Formation Institute of Religious. Plus he has helped me by sending information for my presentation.

Today was a busy day. Since the fiesta is at the end of the week, I have so much to do plus put together a presentation for Saturday. So it is like I have work on top of work to do. Fortunately I was able to get a lot of stuff done today. I get worried about how well I am doing the work and if I am doing it right. Fortunately the director is very nice and gives me great remarks when I do something, which makes me feel like I did it the way he wanted it. Besides doing more research and then coming up with captions, I got a lot done. I also went out of the school property by myself to the store for the first time. Usually I have been nervous about it, but I survived. However, I wouldn't go at night. The thought that goes through my mind when I am doing the work is don't forget to take some time for yourself remember you are still a novice. I did take some time today before lunch and then right before prayer. Then it doesn't help that my mind is wondering. Let me just say me + choreography = challenge/scary. Hopefully we can learn something by Friday. Today I just felt sort of like blah, not as cheery as usual, well I was by myself too, so my thoughts were wondering. I wish I could forget certain things and just move on, that is what I find the most challenging about spending time alone, facing your past and trying to not let it bother you. I just hope that can happen for me.