O Come, O Come Emmanuel...

So this past weekend started a new year in the Roman Catholic Church calendar. What a great time to be a Catholic! I guess I take the season of Advent for granted. It is a time of anticipation, of expectation, and a chance to study the scriptures that speak of what takes place at the end of Advent. Today I also began to teach my students about Advent. Most people know that this is Advent, but they don't really know what it is all about. I am trying to give my students a better understanding of it. I also told them that there are certain hymns we sing during this great season and I even demonstrated some of them by singing the hymn that is sung most often "O Come, O Come Emmanuel." After I stopped, one of the students in the class had this look on this face then he was like that is the most beautiful thing in the world and I started laughing, he started laughing and the entire class started laughing. The student was laughing so hard, he was in tears. I guess in some way I am starting to feel more comfortable around my students to be both serious and joking around with them. I just hope that in the end it gets them to focus more on what I am trying to teach them.

Other than that my weekend was slow. I didn't do too much. I tried to go to the lake on Sunday but it was just way to cold and it was windy and those two combinations don't go hand in hand. My sister in law was taken back to ICU, but she has now been released back into a regular room. I just hope she gets better soon.

I do want to take this opportunity to thank all those who support me with there thoughts and prayers. It makes me feel like I have people out there that genuinely care about me and what I am doing. To those people, thank you so much and I love you all!

I am learning that a huge pet peeve of mine is texting someone and not getting a message back in return. It drives me up a wall.

Thanksgiving

So yesterday was sort of a busy day that I didn't have time to get on here and blog. However, it was a really great day. It started off like any day should by going to Mass. It was a nice Mass and for not being a Sunday Mass or a Holy Day of Obligation, there was a lot of people there in my opinion. After that we started getting things ready for our visitors coming. I got all of my things cooked and prepared the day before, so I really didn't have to worry about much, but I did feel lazy while the others were preparing. Unfortunately only 2 of the people Br. Patrick invited were able to make it, so in total there was only 5 of us there eating and 3 of the 5 were vegetarian. After they left I went to a new friend of mines house named Christin Sommers. How do I know her? Well I only met her at the beginning of this month at the St. Daniel Harvest Festival. Her dad is the deacon at the parish, so I knew who she was, but she didn't know me. However, she graciously extended an invite to me for Thanksgiving. I was really nervous going over there because her family was there. Not to mention the fact that her dad is a deacon and her younger brother is a priest for the Diocese, so I felt like I had to make a good impression. Well to my amazement, I felt like I was at home. They would joke like I would joke, so I ended up laughing more. No words can express how truly thankful I am to them and there family for making such an awesome Thanksgiving Day for me. Hopefully I will be able to hang out with them again in the future.
Today was a fun day as well. I slept in this morning because I was really tired. I got together with some of the FrancisCorp Volunteers from last year for a trip to Skaneateles, New York for the Charles Dickens Christmas. They run this program every year right after Thanksgiving up to Christmas, but only on the weekends. Over 50 people dress up like characters from Charles Dickens Christmas Carol. They will actually come up to you and introduce themselves to you as there character. We all gathered around a gazebo to sing Christmas carols, which was really nice. Plus what made it nice was the fact that it was beginning to snow.




This evening the Franciscan Friars were sponsoring a fund raiser for their food pantry, which was a sing a long to the Sound of Music. It was a lot of fun and I got to meet some more of the new friars who are taking up residence at Assumption. One of who happens to be a Filipino and who is in fact trying to organize a Filipino Mass for January 2nd. I am definitely going to be at that Mass. He is also trying to build a Filipino community here in Syracuse and I am so glad because the Philippines was a great experience for me. I like making new friends!

Isolation...

I seem to be in a happy and cheerful mood and it is not coming from the fact that it is Thanksgiving tomorrow. Something has just been in the air and I am just a lot more positive right now. I really like it and I hope it stays this way for sometime.

Well yesterday started off rainy, but turned into a beautiful day. It was also one of those days that the temperature was all over the place. I walked to teacher my religious education class yesterday and I thought about taking my jacket off cause it was warm, but then when I was walking home it was colder. Last night it even snowed! Besides the weather, on my way back to my house yesterday I received a phone call that my sister in law had a heart attack. I want everyone to realize that she is only 30 years old, so I was shocked when I heard that. My first thought was "Oh God please let her be okay." I say this because she is the mother of my niece and nephew and my nephew was born two weeks ago. It was kind of scary. Then I heard it wasn't a heart attack, but my siblings are still posting on facebook that it was. She had a blood clot and from what I know they were able to dislodge it with blood thinners, but are trying to figure out why her blood is clotting. That's all I know and this is why I feel so isolated. Being the fact that I live all the way in New York and my family is all in Louisiana it is hard to know what's going on all the time. Now I don't expect them to call me every hour to let me know what is going on, however, when something like what my sister in law is going through happens, I hope to stay informed through phone calls and not facebook since I am family. I sort of feel like this is me ranting, but I need to get it off my chest. My dad called and I answered, but something happened and it got disconnected, he didn't even try calling me back. Grant it I could call him, but he called me. I feel isolated most times by my family. At times I want to tell them "hello I am here." I have learned not to have high expectations with them because I end up getting hurt. I should of figured that they weren't really going to keep me informed like they said they would. I guess they forget that I have feelings too. I would be really upset if something bad did happen and they forget about me completely.

Let's move back to some positive things shall we!

Went with my friend Dan to see Harry Potter last night. This one is not the most exciting one they have made, but it is leading up to the final movie, which will probably be awesome! I haven't read the book for this movie, but I do know what all happens. I have to attribute my positive spirit to my friend Dan. He is helping me bring enough balance to my life in the sense that he always wants to pray so I need to have my breviary with me. I provide him with some wisdom since I am older then he is. Things that I was doing before we start hanging out I have stopped and the stress and frustation I was feeling is all gone. Plus he is a trust worthy friend that I can talk too about anything. He knows some of my deep thoughts and secrets and that is because I trust him.

I also received word from my provincial yesterday that I can start working on an application to Loyola University down in New Orleans to start a master's program in the Fall of 2011. So I know where I will be living after the novitiate, but let's just finish the novitiate first. Makes me kind of excited about going back to school. Grant it I won't be looking forward to working on papers and this time around papers will be longer. Just seeing the courses I could possibly take makes me very excited. Already got part of the application done, now I just have to get to the paper work parts to it.

Today was just a day around the house. I prepared my part of the Thanksgiving meal, I am doing the sweet potatoes and my grandmother's Rocky Mountain. I somehow ended up cutting my finger, but it isn't bad. Also made a Rocky Mountain to take with me to a friends families house tomorrow where I also have been invited. Should be fun.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Prophetic...

There is just so much going on in my head right now. Things in the moment and things I need to worry about for the future.

One of the things I am trying to really bring to prayer is how I can I be prophetic as a religious. Really what would it take to be prophetic? It makes me examine how I really do things in my daily life like should I be praying more, reading more, or just spending time in the Chapel. The times where I have felt affirmed in things that I have done, I look back at and realize that at those moments I had been prophetic in what I had done. So many times we might not realize that fact that we are being prophetic until much later. It makes me want to challenge the system of things to really have other people reflect on how they are being prophetic and what can they do to be prophetic? Yes the Brothers work primarily in education, but how can we make that a source of being modern day prophets. This is coming to me because this past weekend was a formation weekend and the speaker really talked about the prophets in the Old Testmanet. For some reason I then had this urge of just trying to write a short little paper on how being prophetic means to me, someone, a young person, trying to live out religious life. For me it really is trying to live a life that challenges me and having me step out of my normal comforts, which I don't have a problem doing, but other religious do have a problem with that. So it really has been on my mind since this weekend. What a great thing to think about and to continue to think about. Hopefully by living my life as an example or trying to be an example to others is in some ways being prophetic.

Now I am really starting to think about next fall and school. I have looked at Loyola New Orleans information on a master's program on Religious Education and it really made me excited. I really do miss being in school and having my mind going at many cycles a second. Seeing the courses I could possibly take really made me happy, plus it wouldn't take me long to finish. Plus I was able to meet with one of my Philosophy professors at Le Moyne today which was really nice and we just talked about school stuff. I told her that I missed it. It was just nice visiting with her and I had a blast.

I am also realizing that I am a great listener. It seems like people see me as someone they can trust and to talk too. I am glad that they feel comfortable doing that because I find it is a way I can minister.

Also I had this crazy dream last night, but I won't go on about it, however, I did meet the Queen of England in the clothes I was sleeping in. It was crazy!

Guns and Politics...

Well like usual it took me a few days to write something on my blog. I have realized if I blog everyday then this blog would become very boring and I feel that I am getting more people reading it, so I have to keep it fresh. All in all since the last blog I have been doing pretty well.

Now you might be wondering why my title is what it is. Well I want to approach the title as two separate entities.

I teach Religious Education every Tuesday at the parish down the street from where I live called St. Daniel's. I only have 6 kids in my class, 2 girls and 4 boys. They are usually very wild when they come to me since they typically come to me after they have lunch and recess at the school they attend. Now yesterday was different. The first student that walked into my class said that another student in the class got in trouble at school, but he was waiting for everyone else to get in to tell me. Now I was like what did he do, is he okay, all these questions were popping up in my head. Once everyone got into the classroom, I shut the door and they told me. For the sake of keeping his name private I will call him "The Boy". Well "The Boy" got a 5 day suspension from school because he brought a weapon to school and not just a pocket knife, but a gun. Now when they told me he had a gun, my eyes got really big because my first instinct was like oh my gosh he brought a gun to school. They then said that he had brought a pellet gun to school. In some sense I did find that more relieving because it was a pellet gun and not just a gun that a cop might carry. However, it is still a gun and it is still a weapon. I ended up telling the director the situation, just to give him a heads up. So a lot of my worry now has been thinking about how "The Boy" is doing. I did stress to my religion class how dangerous it is for something like that to be brought to school and the consequences of such actions. I wanted them to know that there lives could have been at risk, who knows. Something like that is dangerous and not smart. I just hope "The Boy" learns from this. I feel like this is where I can really step in to be a male figure for him because he does come from a split family. So my prayers do go out to him at this time. It is just a scary thing and you never know.

Today I went to the gym twice, but the second time I went because I had to blow off some steam because I was frustrated. I absolutely hate talking politics, I really do! I have no time to talk about it, I don't want to hear anything, things are already screwed up with it. However, I also believe that everything happens for a reason, so if people think President Bush was a horrible president so be it, I just don't want to hear it, what's done is done. People are mad at Bush because of the war and everything, I just wonder what the world would be like if Bush just sat back after 9/11 and did absolutely nothing. We would then have bashing at Bush for not doing anything. There is never a win win situation. Give the man a break. I don't like Obama, I don't go around saying that to people, however, I am saying that here. I don't like it when religion and politics cross paths especially when it is in community because it can be a real bummer. That's where my frustration comes from, the bashing. The bashing can really separate people! Probably why our country can't get anything done because we can't work together.

Looking forward to the weekend, I have my formation program this weekend and it is usually fun!

Singing

I think this weekend turned out to be a very great weekend. Br. Dan and I went to the International Food Festival down at St. John's, which had some really great food, then I ended up at the volunteers house for some pizza. It was a great time visiting with them, which included all sorts of different topics, from beers to music, to working out, and even practice for the GRE. I think I should keep in mind the fact that I am going to have to take the GRE soon for when I go back to school to get my masters. Saturday was also my grandmother's birthday. My grandmother is in her mid 80's and is still going. I am so thankful that her and my grandfather are still alive and praying for me and my vocation. However, I am kind of jealous that she had some really great seafood for her birthday that ended up being all free like lobster and crabs and crabs claws. Makes me miss the south really bad.

I am in the choir at St. Daniel's and we sang this morning at there 10 a.m Mass. I enjoyed it so much today, I was super happy singing today. We did a lot of great songs that really show the dynamics of all out voices and even though they were tough, it turned out really beautiful. It makes me happy that Amanda, our choir director, gives us a huge smile after we finished. It was great. One of the ladies in the choir also made me some fudge, which is almost gone. It is so good and she made it for me because I told her that I loved it. I also went and sang at Le Moyne tonight, but singing there I find is a lot harder. I am more afraid of screwing up at Le Moyne, then I am at St. Daniel's. I think it is because when we rehearse we don't do it in parts like we do at St. Daniel's. At St. Daniel's Amanda works with each of the 4 parts so we know our parts and get them down. I just like to sing and it just brings me so much joy especially seeing the smiles on everyone's faces after we finish!

Going up...

Well I feel as if things are picking back up for me. Hopefully the funk I was in will be the last funk for a while. I just hope that things will stay positive for me in the next few months. One of those positive moments for is the birth of my nephew, Ethan Daniel. One of the hardest things for me is not being able to be there to see him and to hold him. However, when I head home, I will be hogging that baby and trying to spend some time with my niece as well. I love them both so much, even if they don't know me right now. Well my nephew certainly wouldn't know me right now. Just that brings so much joy to my life.

This week seems to be going by pretty fast. It started out kind of rough especially in formation. I sometimes have the tendency to vent and Br. Dan is the one that ends up taking the punches from me when I do vent. God bless him! We also started talking about the vow of chastity, something I have looked forward to talking about. We also talked about sins. What I got out of the class was the fact that I shouldn't beat myself up if I sin, I mean I am human and I have weaknesses. I guess I just put so much pressure on myself to avoid sinning in any circumstance, but then I end up screwing up in the first place. It is mentioned in Paul's letter to the Romans that I know what I need to do and I don't do it and the things I shouldn't do I do it. The struggle with formation, the fact that every little thought is magnified in novitiate because I am not in active ministry. I will survive!

I am hoping to have a great weekend!

Why?

Why is something that is going on in my head currently. Why do certain things happen? Why is the unknown scary? Why do young people have to die? This last question is really ringing true right now. I found out today that a guy that graduated high school two years after I did from the same high school died today after being struck by a car. Jordan Gautreau was a well-liked guy and a really good basketball player in high school. His dad was also the varsity basketball coach at French Settlement High School. Not only was Jordan a great student and player, he was a faithful Christian. He went to Church at Healing Place Church and worked there. He went out this morning to put a sign up by the road when a car side swiped another car and hit him. Let me just say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. To hear that a young man who has touched lives and had the potential to touch many more has passed is truly sad. I can't imagine what his family must be going though. All I can do and all anyone can do is to pray at this moment for him and for the family. I just wish I could be there.

Just to think I have been feeling down about myself and then this happens. Things have been really difficult for me lately. It is one of those things where I feel like I need to be in control of my own life. I want what I want and not what I think God wants me to have. I also don't want to be by myself right now. Friday night I got a little bored around here and just felt alone. I needed to do something, so I went up to Le Moyne to visit with some friends, which ended up being really fun. Then again should I be having fun during the novitiate? Where should I make a balance. I feel at times I am going stir crazy and just want to be free to go out and enjoy myself. The novitiate is just really tough for me right now.

However, Saturday I was busy most of the day. I first went to the Harvest Festival at St. Daniel's to pick up my friend Sonali because we were going to Syracuse University to get an autograph from Apolo Anton Ohno. I really wanted to get it more for my sister because she absolutely loves him. Well I was able to get it and was kind of star struck. By the way the guy has great hair and I am not afraid to tell a guy that he has great hair. Then I went back to the Harvest Festival to help out with what I could. I don't know to many people there, so it was fun to visit with those that I did know.

Today was just a slow day, I worked in the car picking up leaves, which I hated, but it had to get done. I then went to the lake to relax. Came home to read some formation work and then fell asleep then worked on it again. Finally, ended up at Mass at Le Moyne. I just hope things pick back up for me.

Zero Regrets

So I am reading a book written by Apolo Anton Ohno entitled "Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday." It isn't a biography of his but it is more of a personal philosophy based off his experiences in the world of speed skating and just in life. I am really enjoying reading the book. I started it yesterday and will finish it by tomorrow. Why would I read a book by a guy who is the most decorated American in U.S. Winter Olympics. Well it just so happens that he will be making a visit to Syracuse on Saturday for a book signing. My first thought was "man my little sister is going to be jealous of me." You have to understand when Apolo was in the 2002 Olympics my little sister was absolutely in love with the guy. Every article he was in she got and cut out. So she pretty much told me that I had to go see him. So I decided to get the book for her as a gift so I can have him autograph it especially for her. I felt that I needed to read the book first, so I could have a better understanding of the guy. I am now a big fan. However, his workout regiments are crazy, I could never and probably will never be in the shape that this guy is in. He is only going to be signing the book for an hour, so I hope I can get there and the line is short. A lot is going on this weekend here on Saturday. The Syracuse football game on Saturday during that time as well as an Equestrian competition and horse show. Hopefully I won't look stupid standing out there.

Other than that, things have been kind of slow, which is good. Right now I am trying to face those things that really lead me down a path to temptation and to act out. It is one of the hardest things I face right now in the novitiate. Not being able to really go and do much, leaving me room for my mind to wander and sometimes it wanders in places I do want it to go. That's when things go downhill. I must stay positive.

Last night, I went with my friend Dan to a Healing Mass in Syracuse. My first one here and I sort of thought it would be like a Charismatic Mass. It wasn't full Charismatic, but it had elements. Dan is going through a lot right now, he is discerning the priesthood and is not getting the kind of support he would like from his immediate family. Sounds a lot like the position I was in. Dan and I have a lot in common. I feel like I can be a support for him. We have both agreed that we are each others best friends because he can talk to me and I can talk to him. It is just nice to have somebody to listen. What I got from the Mass is the sense that I need to stop worrying about myself and start thinking of the others. I am here to serve others and God, not myself. That gives me strenth!

So long...

Didn't realize how long it had been since I had last blogged. I have been busy with trying to organize the bowling trip for the next formation program in November. Speaking of November, I can't believe it is already November. It has also been two months since I got back from the Philippines. Time surely does fly by and how I miss so many of my friends back in the Philippines.

This weekend was Halloween, which I am learning is one of my favorites. Br. Dan went with me to see Paranormal Activity 2, which was okay, but I thought the first one was a lot spookier. I also got permission to go visit with some friends at there party. It was a great time. The evening didn't go as expected, but it still turned out alright, something we can look back at and laugh. My friend Dan, who is applying for the Diocese of Syracuse, went with me. Let's just say it was his first time getting drunk, hehe, enough said. I made sure he was okay though. He didn't remember anything the next day, but I reminded him of the Shenanigans. I also realize that I don't need to drink to have a good time.

For Halloween, I passed out candy, but gosh was it freezing here in Syracuse. Let me just say that yesterday we had clear weather, cloudy weather, then rain, sleet, hail, and snow all in one day. Pretty soon it is going to start snowing. So I was brave staying out in the cold weather. I did have some visitors over that knew me, which made it a lot better.

Today had a lot of interesting moments. So when I left the house to attend my spiritual direction, I didn't see this guy on his bike on the side walk because of some hedges well all I heard was like an "ohh oh" then once he got past the car he let out "Watch where you are going asshole." I thought that was interesting, but I legit didn't see him coming. Brian went back to Philly to take care of his mom, so now I have the whole upstairs without anybody else here. I ran into a friar at the gas station, confused him with another order, but then realized that they are starting a new order and he is only one of four. I like them only in the sense that they have Sacred Heart in there name.

The most powerful thing for me this morning though was the feeling that the Blessed Mother was surrounding me and looking out for me. Just reading the signs around me.