Why?

Why is something that is going on in my head currently. Why do certain things happen? Why is the unknown scary? Why do young people have to die? This last question is really ringing true right now. I found out today that a guy that graduated high school two years after I did from the same high school died today after being struck by a car. Jordan Gautreau was a well-liked guy and a really good basketball player in high school. His dad was also the varsity basketball coach at French Settlement High School. Not only was Jordan a great student and player, he was a faithful Christian. He went to Church at Healing Place Church and worked there. He went out this morning to put a sign up by the road when a car side swiped another car and hit him. Let me just say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. To hear that a young man who has touched lives and had the potential to touch many more has passed is truly sad. I can't imagine what his family must be going though. All I can do and all anyone can do is to pray at this moment for him and for the family. I just wish I could be there.

Just to think I have been feeling down about myself and then this happens. Things have been really difficult for me lately. It is one of those things where I feel like I need to be in control of my own life. I want what I want and not what I think God wants me to have. I also don't want to be by myself right now. Friday night I got a little bored around here and just felt alone. I needed to do something, so I went up to Le Moyne to visit with some friends, which ended up being really fun. Then again should I be having fun during the novitiate? Where should I make a balance. I feel at times I am going stir crazy and just want to be free to go out and enjoy myself. The novitiate is just really tough for me right now.

However, Saturday I was busy most of the day. I first went to the Harvest Festival at St. Daniel's to pick up my friend Sonali because we were going to Syracuse University to get an autograph from Apolo Anton Ohno. I really wanted to get it more for my sister because she absolutely loves him. Well I was able to get it and was kind of star struck. By the way the guy has great hair and I am not afraid to tell a guy that he has great hair. Then I went back to the Harvest Festival to help out with what I could. I don't know to many people there, so it was fun to visit with those that I did know.

Today was just a slow day, I worked in the car picking up leaves, which I hated, but it had to get done. I then went to the lake to relax. Came home to read some formation work and then fell asleep then worked on it again. Finally, ended up at Mass at Le Moyne. I just hope things pick back up for me.