Sunday, February 20, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Break...
I am taking a break from blogging at this moment. There are many reasons why, so I will only name one. My vocal teacher told me that JOY is what we should have in our lives. J - Jesus, O - Others, Y - Yourself. In the blog, I use "I" statements a lot, which can come across as self-centered and I don't want to be that. If I am am going to focus on anything right now in my life is Jesus and Others, placing myself last.
Who knows when I will start doing this again, if ever. However, enjoy the Philippine blogs I did from my summer there.
Who knows when I will start doing this again, if ever. However, enjoy the Philippine blogs I did from my summer there.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My Heart Goes Out...
My heart goes out to a friend of mine who applied to a Diocese to begin studies for the priesthood and was denied. He was denied because he does not receive much family support. It just makes me sad because he is such a good person, with a big heart. It just hurts me knowing that he is upset, but I will always be there to support him no matter which road he takes.
I have not been to the gym I go to work out at in so long because I have now started going to Le Moyne to play basketball. It has been killer on my body, but it is great exercise. I would rather be doing this then working out by myself. My skills are coming back and I felt like I did some pretty awesome moves yesterday, it felt good.
I am excited that I will be going home tomorrow for the week. Even though it is only a week, to me it feels like a long time. I am looking forward to it.
I have not been to the gym I go to work out at in so long because I have now started going to Le Moyne to play basketball. It has been killer on my body, but it is great exercise. I would rather be doing this then working out by myself. My skills are coming back and I felt like I did some pretty awesome moves yesterday, it felt good.
I am excited that I will be going home tomorrow for the week. Even though it is only a week, to me it feels like a long time. I am looking forward to it.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
What a day...
We couldn't have asked for a better day. It was so beautiful outside today and that makes a couple of days without snow. The day was spent with the Brothers in Skaneateles for an Advent Day of Recollection. We gathered for prayer at the beginning and the end, and the middle was made for our own private reflections.
One thing I reflected on is how super thankful for the huge support system that I have and those people know who they are.
One thing I reflected on is how super thankful for the huge support system that I have and those people know who they are.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Did somebody say snow...
Well the weekend was great because it got a bit warmer and I was able to see grass, but now it is just ridiculous outside again. I had to go outside twice today to take care of the snow. Lucky that we have a nice snow blower, however, the neighbors don't like me. Let me just say his fence is in the way of where the snow is blowing. I hate to tell him, but the wind has the tendency to carry the snow if he likes it or not.
However, the weekend ended up being pretty good. Sunday I was able to go watch some of the kids in Religious Education at St. Daniel's sing at Mass. I was so happy that 3 of my 6 kids were there in attendance, it makes me proud. I am hoping to get them all there at one point, it would be nice to see my entire class at Mass. Then in the afternoon I went to Shopping Town Mall here in Syracuse and sang at there Festival of Trees, not to many people were present, but it was still fun to do. I saw Amanda, the choir director, today and she says one day she wants me to cantor with her, so this should be interesting. After singing at the Mall, I headed over to the Jesuit Novitiate for their Lessons and Carols, which was really nice. I also enjoyed just talking with the novices. They were all really nice and I am kind of sad that this is the only time I had to visit with them. However, I did go play basketball yesterday with two of the guys and I am feeling it today. I am so sore, but I might go and do it again tomorrow, since I won't have much time to actually visit and play with them. We shall see.
The Provincial of New York is here right now for his visitation and Br. Joe Holthaus is with them, so it is always fun when they are around!
However, the weekend ended up being pretty good. Sunday I was able to go watch some of the kids in Religious Education at St. Daniel's sing at Mass. I was so happy that 3 of my 6 kids were there in attendance, it makes me proud. I am hoping to get them all there at one point, it would be nice to see my entire class at Mass. Then in the afternoon I went to Shopping Town Mall here in Syracuse and sang at there Festival of Trees, not to many people were present, but it was still fun to do. I saw Amanda, the choir director, today and she says one day she wants me to cantor with her, so this should be interesting. After singing at the Mall, I headed over to the Jesuit Novitiate for their Lessons and Carols, which was really nice. I also enjoyed just talking with the novices. They were all really nice and I am kind of sad that this is the only time I had to visit with them. However, I did go play basketball yesterday with two of the guys and I am feeling it today. I am so sore, but I might go and do it again tomorrow, since I won't have much time to actually visit and play with them. We shall see.
The Provincial of New York is here right now for his visitation and Br. Joe Holthaus is with them, so it is always fun when they are around!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Gosh...
I didn't realize that it has been almost an entire week since my last blog. Probably because I have been completely wiped out from the huge amounts of snow we have amassed up here in Syracuse, 48 inches in a week to be exact. That is about waist deep on me. Guess what we are expecting more snow this coming week as well. I am just ready for winter to be over and it hasn't even begun. Other than that I had some good moments of the week and bad moments. Good moments, finally get a plow guy, a new snow blower, Feast of the Immaculate Conception, really awesome Healing Mass here in Syracuse. I just hope this week will be better than this last one. I just hope I can perk myself back up!
In other news, choir is singing tomorrow at one of the Mall's I am super excited about that!
In other news, choir is singing tomorrow at one of the Mall's I am super excited about that!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Music...
What can I say I just love music! Especially since Glee has come out with old and modern songs, my taste in music has increased tremendously. I am not only talking about listening to music, but also singing. I just love being in a choir especially during a season like this where we are singing a lot more together. The choir at St. Daniel's has become like a little Syracuse family to me and that really came out today when we were singing at the Lessons and Carols of one of the other parishes here in Syracuse. One the ladies in the choir has been asking us to praying that her mortgage goes through on a new house for her and her son, well today we got word that it went through. The entire choir was ecstatic, we were just all so happy for her and of course the future house warming party she is going to have, well that we are just going to show up and party at. High fives were going around like crazy and to top it off we did another beautiful round of singing. I really like our choir director especially after we finish singing and the faces she makes that really let us know how we did. We sang at Mass yesterday and she said that she was almost brought to tears. Gosh music is so powerful and what a ministry it has really been to be apart of the choir and the music ministry. I am so excited about next weekend because the choir will be singing at one of the malls here in Syracuse. It should be a great time and I am so excited! Last time I sang in a mall was in the Philippines.
Other than that everything else has been going well. My brother called me out of no where the other day and we talked for like an hour, that just doesn't happen. I was happy that he called me, my family really doesn't call me very much.
Today has also been a winter day in hell. It has snowed all day and whats worse is that it is suppose to be snowing again the next couple of days. What I hate about it is constantly having to go shovel and this is where the hell part comes in. Snow shoveling is like pushing a rock up a hill and then it falling back down. I am going to be getting up really early tomorrow morning to get some of it done since we don't have a plow man yet to come do it for us. Hopefully we get someone fast to do it for us because I hate shoveling especially some of the Brothers expect me to stop what I am doing to do it. I actually told one Brother no this evening to shoveling because I didn't want to do it since it was already dark outside. God bless me this winter and I pray that it goes by fast since this is my last one here in Syracuse.
Other than that everything else has been going well. My brother called me out of no where the other day and we talked for like an hour, that just doesn't happen. I was happy that he called me, my family really doesn't call me very much.
Today has also been a winter day in hell. It has snowed all day and whats worse is that it is suppose to be snowing again the next couple of days. What I hate about it is constantly having to go shovel and this is where the hell part comes in. Snow shoveling is like pushing a rock up a hill and then it falling back down. I am going to be getting up really early tomorrow morning to get some of it done since we don't have a plow man yet to come do it for us. Hopefully we get someone fast to do it for us because I hate shoveling especially some of the Brothers expect me to stop what I am doing to do it. I actually told one Brother no this evening to shoveling because I didn't want to do it since it was already dark outside. God bless me this winter and I pray that it goes by fast since this is my last one here in Syracuse.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
O Come, O Come Emmanuel...
So this past weekend started a new year in the Roman Catholic Church calendar. What a great time to be a Catholic! I guess I take the season of Advent for granted. It is a time of anticipation, of expectation, and a chance to study the scriptures that speak of what takes place at the end of Advent. Today I also began to teach my students about Advent. Most people know that this is Advent, but they don't really know what it is all about. I am trying to give my students a better understanding of it. I also told them that there are certain hymns we sing during this great season and I even demonstrated some of them by singing the hymn that is sung most often "O Come, O Come Emmanuel." After I stopped, one of the students in the class had this look on this face then he was like that is the most beautiful thing in the world and I started laughing, he started laughing and the entire class started laughing. The student was laughing so hard, he was in tears. I guess in some way I am starting to feel more comfortable around my students to be both serious and joking around with them. I just hope that in the end it gets them to focus more on what I am trying to teach them.
Other than that my weekend was slow. I didn't do too much. I tried to go to the lake on Sunday but it was just way to cold and it was windy and those two combinations don't go hand in hand. My sister in law was taken back to ICU, but she has now been released back into a regular room. I just hope she gets better soon.
I do want to take this opportunity to thank all those who support me with there thoughts and prayers. It makes me feel like I have people out there that genuinely care about me and what I am doing. To those people, thank you so much and I love you all!
I am learning that a huge pet peeve of mine is texting someone and not getting a message back in return. It drives me up a wall.
Other than that my weekend was slow. I didn't do too much. I tried to go to the lake on Sunday but it was just way to cold and it was windy and those two combinations don't go hand in hand. My sister in law was taken back to ICU, but she has now been released back into a regular room. I just hope she gets better soon.
I do want to take this opportunity to thank all those who support me with there thoughts and prayers. It makes me feel like I have people out there that genuinely care about me and what I am doing. To those people, thank you so much and I love you all!
I am learning that a huge pet peeve of mine is texting someone and not getting a message back in return. It drives me up a wall.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thanksgiving
So yesterday was sort of a busy day that I didn't have time to get on here and blog. However, it was a really great day. It started off like any day should by going to Mass. It was a nice Mass and for not being a Sunday Mass or a Holy Day of Obligation, there was a lot of people there in my opinion. After that we started getting things ready for our visitors coming. I got all of my things cooked and prepared the day before, so I really didn't have to worry about much, but I did feel lazy while the others were preparing. Unfortunately only 2 of the people Br. Patrick invited were able to make it, so in total there was only 5 of us there eating and 3 of the 5 were vegetarian. After they left I went to a new friend of mines house named Christin Sommers. How do I know her? Well I only met her at the beginning of this month at the St. Daniel Harvest Festival. Her dad is the deacon at the parish, so I knew who she was, but she didn't know me. However, she graciously extended an invite to me for Thanksgiving. I was really nervous going over there because her family was there. Not to mention the fact that her dad is a deacon and her younger brother is a priest for the Diocese, so I felt like I had to make a good impression. Well to my amazement, I felt like I was at home. They would joke like I would joke, so I ended up laughing more. No words can express how truly thankful I am to them and there family for making such an awesome Thanksgiving Day for me. Hopefully I will be able to hang out with them again in the future.
Today was a fun day as well. I slept in this morning because I was really tired. I got together with some of the FrancisCorp Volunteers from last year for a trip to Skaneateles, New York for the Charles Dickens Christmas. They run this program every year right after Thanksgiving up to Christmas, but only on the weekends. Over 50 people dress up like characters from Charles Dickens Christmas Carol. They will actually come up to you and introduce themselves to you as there character. We all gathered around a gazebo to sing Christmas carols, which was really nice. Plus what made it nice was the fact that it was beginning to snow.
This evening the Franciscan Friars were sponsoring a fund raiser for their food pantry, which was a sing a long to the Sound of Music. It was a lot of fun and I got to meet some more of the new friars who are taking up residence at Assumption. One of who happens to be a Filipino and who is in fact trying to organize a Filipino Mass for January 2nd. I am definitely going to be at that Mass. He is also trying to build a Filipino community here in Syracuse and I am so glad because the Philippines was a great experience for me. I like making new friends!
Today was a fun day as well. I slept in this morning because I was really tired. I got together with some of the FrancisCorp Volunteers from last year for a trip to Skaneateles, New York for the Charles Dickens Christmas. They run this program every year right after Thanksgiving up to Christmas, but only on the weekends. Over 50 people dress up like characters from Charles Dickens Christmas Carol. They will actually come up to you and introduce themselves to you as there character. We all gathered around a gazebo to sing Christmas carols, which was really nice. Plus what made it nice was the fact that it was beginning to snow.
This evening the Franciscan Friars were sponsoring a fund raiser for their food pantry, which was a sing a long to the Sound of Music. It was a lot of fun and I got to meet some more of the new friars who are taking up residence at Assumption. One of who happens to be a Filipino and who is in fact trying to organize a Filipino Mass for January 2nd. I am definitely going to be at that Mass. He is also trying to build a Filipino community here in Syracuse and I am so glad because the Philippines was a great experience for me. I like making new friends!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Isolation...
I seem to be in a happy and cheerful mood and it is not coming from the fact that it is Thanksgiving tomorrow. Something has just been in the air and I am just a lot more positive right now. I really like it and I hope it stays this way for sometime.
Well yesterday started off rainy, but turned into a beautiful day. It was also one of those days that the temperature was all over the place. I walked to teacher my religious education class yesterday and I thought about taking my jacket off cause it was warm, but then when I was walking home it was colder. Last night it even snowed! Besides the weather, on my way back to my house yesterday I received a phone call that my sister in law had a heart attack. I want everyone to realize that she is only 30 years old, so I was shocked when I heard that. My first thought was "Oh God please let her be okay." I say this because she is the mother of my niece and nephew and my nephew was born two weeks ago. It was kind of scary. Then I heard it wasn't a heart attack, but my siblings are still posting on facebook that it was. She had a blood clot and from what I know they were able to dislodge it with blood thinners, but are trying to figure out why her blood is clotting. That's all I know and this is why I feel so isolated. Being the fact that I live all the way in New York and my family is all in Louisiana it is hard to know what's going on all the time. Now I don't expect them to call me every hour to let me know what is going on, however, when something like what my sister in law is going through happens, I hope to stay informed through phone calls and not facebook since I am family. I sort of feel like this is me ranting, but I need to get it off my chest. My dad called and I answered, but something happened and it got disconnected, he didn't even try calling me back. Grant it I could call him, but he called me. I feel isolated most times by my family. At times I want to tell them "hello I am here." I have learned not to have high expectations with them because I end up getting hurt. I should of figured that they weren't really going to keep me informed like they said they would. I guess they forget that I have feelings too. I would be really upset if something bad did happen and they forget about me completely.
Let's move back to some positive things shall we!
Went with my friend Dan to see Harry Potter last night. This one is not the most exciting one they have made, but it is leading up to the final movie, which will probably be awesome! I haven't read the book for this movie, but I do know what all happens. I have to attribute my positive spirit to my friend Dan. He is helping me bring enough balance to my life in the sense that he always wants to pray so I need to have my breviary with me. I provide him with some wisdom since I am older then he is. Things that I was doing before we start hanging out I have stopped and the stress and frustation I was feeling is all gone. Plus he is a trust worthy friend that I can talk too about anything. He knows some of my deep thoughts and secrets and that is because I trust him.
I also received word from my provincial yesterday that I can start working on an application to Loyola University down in New Orleans to start a master's program in the Fall of 2011. So I know where I will be living after the novitiate, but let's just finish the novitiate first. Makes me kind of excited about going back to school. Grant it I won't be looking forward to working on papers and this time around papers will be longer. Just seeing the courses I could possibly take makes me very excited. Already got part of the application done, now I just have to get to the paper work parts to it.
Today was just a day around the house. I prepared my part of the Thanksgiving meal, I am doing the sweet potatoes and my grandmother's Rocky Mountain. I somehow ended up cutting my finger, but it isn't bad. Also made a Rocky Mountain to take with me to a friends families house tomorrow where I also have been invited. Should be fun.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Well yesterday started off rainy, but turned into a beautiful day. It was also one of those days that the temperature was all over the place. I walked to teacher my religious education class yesterday and I thought about taking my jacket off cause it was warm, but then when I was walking home it was colder. Last night it even snowed! Besides the weather, on my way back to my house yesterday I received a phone call that my sister in law had a heart attack. I want everyone to realize that she is only 30 years old, so I was shocked when I heard that. My first thought was "Oh God please let her be okay." I say this because she is the mother of my niece and nephew and my nephew was born two weeks ago. It was kind of scary. Then I heard it wasn't a heart attack, but my siblings are still posting on facebook that it was. She had a blood clot and from what I know they were able to dislodge it with blood thinners, but are trying to figure out why her blood is clotting. That's all I know and this is why I feel so isolated. Being the fact that I live all the way in New York and my family is all in Louisiana it is hard to know what's going on all the time. Now I don't expect them to call me every hour to let me know what is going on, however, when something like what my sister in law is going through happens, I hope to stay informed through phone calls and not facebook since I am family. I sort of feel like this is me ranting, but I need to get it off my chest. My dad called and I answered, but something happened and it got disconnected, he didn't even try calling me back. Grant it I could call him, but he called me. I feel isolated most times by my family. At times I want to tell them "hello I am here." I have learned not to have high expectations with them because I end up getting hurt. I should of figured that they weren't really going to keep me informed like they said they would. I guess they forget that I have feelings too. I would be really upset if something bad did happen and they forget about me completely.
Let's move back to some positive things shall we!
Went with my friend Dan to see Harry Potter last night. This one is not the most exciting one they have made, but it is leading up to the final movie, which will probably be awesome! I haven't read the book for this movie, but I do know what all happens. I have to attribute my positive spirit to my friend Dan. He is helping me bring enough balance to my life in the sense that he always wants to pray so I need to have my breviary with me. I provide him with some wisdom since I am older then he is. Things that I was doing before we start hanging out I have stopped and the stress and frustation I was feeling is all gone. Plus he is a trust worthy friend that I can talk too about anything. He knows some of my deep thoughts and secrets and that is because I trust him.
I also received word from my provincial yesterday that I can start working on an application to Loyola University down in New Orleans to start a master's program in the Fall of 2011. So I know where I will be living after the novitiate, but let's just finish the novitiate first. Makes me kind of excited about going back to school. Grant it I won't be looking forward to working on papers and this time around papers will be longer. Just seeing the courses I could possibly take makes me very excited. Already got part of the application done, now I just have to get to the paper work parts to it.
Today was just a day around the house. I prepared my part of the Thanksgiving meal, I am doing the sweet potatoes and my grandmother's Rocky Mountain. I somehow ended up cutting my finger, but it isn't bad. Also made a Rocky Mountain to take with me to a friends families house tomorrow where I also have been invited. Should be fun.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Prophetic...
There is just so much going on in my head right now. Things in the moment and things I need to worry about for the future.
One of the things I am trying to really bring to prayer is how I can I be prophetic as a religious. Really what would it take to be prophetic? It makes me examine how I really do things in my daily life like should I be praying more, reading more, or just spending time in the Chapel. The times where I have felt affirmed in things that I have done, I look back at and realize that at those moments I had been prophetic in what I had done. So many times we might not realize that fact that we are being prophetic until much later. It makes me want to challenge the system of things to really have other people reflect on how they are being prophetic and what can they do to be prophetic? Yes the Brothers work primarily in education, but how can we make that a source of being modern day prophets. This is coming to me because this past weekend was a formation weekend and the speaker really talked about the prophets in the Old Testmanet. For some reason I then had this urge of just trying to write a short little paper on how being prophetic means to me, someone, a young person, trying to live out religious life. For me it really is trying to live a life that challenges me and having me step out of my normal comforts, which I don't have a problem doing, but other religious do have a problem with that. So it really has been on my mind since this weekend. What a great thing to think about and to continue to think about. Hopefully by living my life as an example or trying to be an example to others is in some ways being prophetic.
Now I am really starting to think about next fall and school. I have looked at Loyola New Orleans information on a master's program on Religious Education and it really made me excited. I really do miss being in school and having my mind going at many cycles a second. Seeing the courses I could possibly take really made me happy, plus it wouldn't take me long to finish. Plus I was able to meet with one of my Philosophy professors at Le Moyne today which was really nice and we just talked about school stuff. I told her that I missed it. It was just nice visiting with her and I had a blast.
I am also realizing that I am a great listener. It seems like people see me as someone they can trust and to talk too. I am glad that they feel comfortable doing that because I find it is a way I can minister.
Also I had this crazy dream last night, but I won't go on about it, however, I did meet the Queen of England in the clothes I was sleeping in. It was crazy!
One of the things I am trying to really bring to prayer is how I can I be prophetic as a religious. Really what would it take to be prophetic? It makes me examine how I really do things in my daily life like should I be praying more, reading more, or just spending time in the Chapel. The times where I have felt affirmed in things that I have done, I look back at and realize that at those moments I had been prophetic in what I had done. So many times we might not realize that fact that we are being prophetic until much later. It makes me want to challenge the system of things to really have other people reflect on how they are being prophetic and what can they do to be prophetic? Yes the Brothers work primarily in education, but how can we make that a source of being modern day prophets. This is coming to me because this past weekend was a formation weekend and the speaker really talked about the prophets in the Old Testmanet. For some reason I then had this urge of just trying to write a short little paper on how being prophetic means to me, someone, a young person, trying to live out religious life. For me it really is trying to live a life that challenges me and having me step out of my normal comforts, which I don't have a problem doing, but other religious do have a problem with that. So it really has been on my mind since this weekend. What a great thing to think about and to continue to think about. Hopefully by living my life as an example or trying to be an example to others is in some ways being prophetic.
Now I am really starting to think about next fall and school. I have looked at Loyola New Orleans information on a master's program on Religious Education and it really made me excited. I really do miss being in school and having my mind going at many cycles a second. Seeing the courses I could possibly take really made me happy, plus it wouldn't take me long to finish. Plus I was able to meet with one of my Philosophy professors at Le Moyne today which was really nice and we just talked about school stuff. I told her that I missed it. It was just nice visiting with her and I had a blast.
I am also realizing that I am a great listener. It seems like people see me as someone they can trust and to talk too. I am glad that they feel comfortable doing that because I find it is a way I can minister.
Also I had this crazy dream last night, but I won't go on about it, however, I did meet the Queen of England in the clothes I was sleeping in. It was crazy!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Guns and Politics...
Well like usual it took me a few days to write something on my blog. I have realized if I blog everyday then this blog would become very boring and I feel that I am getting more people reading it, so I have to keep it fresh. All in all since the last blog I have been doing pretty well.
Now you might be wondering why my title is what it is. Well I want to approach the title as two separate entities.
I teach Religious Education every Tuesday at the parish down the street from where I live called St. Daniel's. I only have 6 kids in my class, 2 girls and 4 boys. They are usually very wild when they come to me since they typically come to me after they have lunch and recess at the school they attend. Now yesterday was different. The first student that walked into my class said that another student in the class got in trouble at school, but he was waiting for everyone else to get in to tell me. Now I was like what did he do, is he okay, all these questions were popping up in my head. Once everyone got into the classroom, I shut the door and they told me. For the sake of keeping his name private I will call him "The Boy". Well "The Boy" got a 5 day suspension from school because he brought a weapon to school and not just a pocket knife, but a gun. Now when they told me he had a gun, my eyes got really big because my first instinct was like oh my gosh he brought a gun to school. They then said that he had brought a pellet gun to school. In some sense I did find that more relieving because it was a pellet gun and not just a gun that a cop might carry. However, it is still a gun and it is still a weapon. I ended up telling the director the situation, just to give him a heads up. So a lot of my worry now has been thinking about how "The Boy" is doing. I did stress to my religion class how dangerous it is for something like that to be brought to school and the consequences of such actions. I wanted them to know that there lives could have been at risk, who knows. Something like that is dangerous and not smart. I just hope "The Boy" learns from this. I feel like this is where I can really step in to be a male figure for him because he does come from a split family. So my prayers do go out to him at this time. It is just a scary thing and you never know.
Today I went to the gym twice, but the second time I went because I had to blow off some steam because I was frustrated. I absolutely hate talking politics, I really do! I have no time to talk about it, I don't want to hear anything, things are already screwed up with it. However, I also believe that everything happens for a reason, so if people think President Bush was a horrible president so be it, I just don't want to hear it, what's done is done. People are mad at Bush because of the war and everything, I just wonder what the world would be like if Bush just sat back after 9/11 and did absolutely nothing. We would then have bashing at Bush for not doing anything. There is never a win win situation. Give the man a break. I don't like Obama, I don't go around saying that to people, however, I am saying that here. I don't like it when religion and politics cross paths especially when it is in community because it can be a real bummer. That's where my frustration comes from, the bashing. The bashing can really separate people! Probably why our country can't get anything done because we can't work together.
Looking forward to the weekend, I have my formation program this weekend and it is usually fun!
Now you might be wondering why my title is what it is. Well I want to approach the title as two separate entities.
I teach Religious Education every Tuesday at the parish down the street from where I live called St. Daniel's. I only have 6 kids in my class, 2 girls and 4 boys. They are usually very wild when they come to me since they typically come to me after they have lunch and recess at the school they attend. Now yesterday was different. The first student that walked into my class said that another student in the class got in trouble at school, but he was waiting for everyone else to get in to tell me. Now I was like what did he do, is he okay, all these questions were popping up in my head. Once everyone got into the classroom, I shut the door and they told me. For the sake of keeping his name private I will call him "The Boy". Well "The Boy" got a 5 day suspension from school because he brought a weapon to school and not just a pocket knife, but a gun. Now when they told me he had a gun, my eyes got really big because my first instinct was like oh my gosh he brought a gun to school. They then said that he had brought a pellet gun to school. In some sense I did find that more relieving because it was a pellet gun and not just a gun that a cop might carry. However, it is still a gun and it is still a weapon. I ended up telling the director the situation, just to give him a heads up. So a lot of my worry now has been thinking about how "The Boy" is doing. I did stress to my religion class how dangerous it is for something like that to be brought to school and the consequences of such actions. I wanted them to know that there lives could have been at risk, who knows. Something like that is dangerous and not smart. I just hope "The Boy" learns from this. I feel like this is where I can really step in to be a male figure for him because he does come from a split family. So my prayers do go out to him at this time. It is just a scary thing and you never know.
Today I went to the gym twice, but the second time I went because I had to blow off some steam because I was frustrated. I absolutely hate talking politics, I really do! I have no time to talk about it, I don't want to hear anything, things are already screwed up with it. However, I also believe that everything happens for a reason, so if people think President Bush was a horrible president so be it, I just don't want to hear it, what's done is done. People are mad at Bush because of the war and everything, I just wonder what the world would be like if Bush just sat back after 9/11 and did absolutely nothing. We would then have bashing at Bush for not doing anything. There is never a win win situation. Give the man a break. I don't like Obama, I don't go around saying that to people, however, I am saying that here. I don't like it when religion and politics cross paths especially when it is in community because it can be a real bummer. That's where my frustration comes from, the bashing. The bashing can really separate people! Probably why our country can't get anything done because we can't work together.
Looking forward to the weekend, I have my formation program this weekend and it is usually fun!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Singing
I think this weekend turned out to be a very great weekend. Br. Dan and I went to the International Food Festival down at St. John's, which had some really great food, then I ended up at the volunteers house for some pizza. It was a great time visiting with them, which included all sorts of different topics, from beers to music, to working out, and even practice for the GRE. I think I should keep in mind the fact that I am going to have to take the GRE soon for when I go back to school to get my masters. Saturday was also my grandmother's birthday. My grandmother is in her mid 80's and is still going. I am so thankful that her and my grandfather are still alive and praying for me and my vocation. However, I am kind of jealous that she had some really great seafood for her birthday that ended up being all free like lobster and crabs and crabs claws. Makes me miss the south really bad.
I am in the choir at St. Daniel's and we sang this morning at there 10 a.m Mass. I enjoyed it so much today, I was super happy singing today. We did a lot of great songs that really show the dynamics of all out voices and even though they were tough, it turned out really beautiful. It makes me happy that Amanda, our choir director, gives us a huge smile after we finished. It was great. One of the ladies in the choir also made me some fudge, which is almost gone. It is so good and she made it for me because I told her that I loved it. I also went and sang at Le Moyne tonight, but singing there I find is a lot harder. I am more afraid of screwing up at Le Moyne, then I am at St. Daniel's. I think it is because when we rehearse we don't do it in parts like we do at St. Daniel's. At St. Daniel's Amanda works with each of the 4 parts so we know our parts and get them down. I just like to sing and it just brings me so much joy especially seeing the smiles on everyone's faces after we finish!
I am in the choir at St. Daniel's and we sang this morning at there 10 a.m Mass. I enjoyed it so much today, I was super happy singing today. We did a lot of great songs that really show the dynamics of all out voices and even though they were tough, it turned out really beautiful. It makes me happy that Amanda, our choir director, gives us a huge smile after we finished. It was great. One of the ladies in the choir also made me some fudge, which is almost gone. It is so good and she made it for me because I told her that I loved it. I also went and sang at Le Moyne tonight, but singing there I find is a lot harder. I am more afraid of screwing up at Le Moyne, then I am at St. Daniel's. I think it is because when we rehearse we don't do it in parts like we do at St. Daniel's. At St. Daniel's Amanda works with each of the 4 parts so we know our parts and get them down. I just like to sing and it just brings me so much joy especially seeing the smiles on everyone's faces after we finish!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Going up...
Well I feel as if things are picking back up for me. Hopefully the funk I was in will be the last funk for a while. I just hope that things will stay positive for me in the next few months. One of those positive moments for is the birth of my nephew, Ethan Daniel. One of the hardest things for me is not being able to be there to see him and to hold him. However, when I head home, I will be hogging that baby and trying to spend some time with my niece as well. I love them both so much, even if they don't know me right now. Well my nephew certainly wouldn't know me right now. Just that brings so much joy to my life.
This week seems to be going by pretty fast. It started out kind of rough especially in formation. I sometimes have the tendency to vent and Br. Dan is the one that ends up taking the punches from me when I do vent. God bless him! We also started talking about the vow of chastity, something I have looked forward to talking about. We also talked about sins. What I got out of the class was the fact that I shouldn't beat myself up if I sin, I mean I am human and I have weaknesses. I guess I just put so much pressure on myself to avoid sinning in any circumstance, but then I end up screwing up in the first place. It is mentioned in Paul's letter to the Romans that I know what I need to do and I don't do it and the things I shouldn't do I do it. The struggle with formation, the fact that every little thought is magnified in novitiate because I am not in active ministry. I will survive!
I am hoping to have a great weekend!
This week seems to be going by pretty fast. It started out kind of rough especially in formation. I sometimes have the tendency to vent and Br. Dan is the one that ends up taking the punches from me when I do vent. God bless him! We also started talking about the vow of chastity, something I have looked forward to talking about. We also talked about sins. What I got out of the class was the fact that I shouldn't beat myself up if I sin, I mean I am human and I have weaknesses. I guess I just put so much pressure on myself to avoid sinning in any circumstance, but then I end up screwing up in the first place. It is mentioned in Paul's letter to the Romans that I know what I need to do and I don't do it and the things I shouldn't do I do it. The struggle with formation, the fact that every little thought is magnified in novitiate because I am not in active ministry. I will survive!
I am hoping to have a great weekend!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Why?
Why is something that is going on in my head currently. Why do certain things happen? Why is the unknown scary? Why do young people have to die? This last question is really ringing true right now. I found out today that a guy that graduated high school two years after I did from the same high school died today after being struck by a car. Jordan Gautreau was a well-liked guy and a really good basketball player in high school. His dad was also the varsity basketball coach at French Settlement High School. Not only was Jordan a great student and player, he was a faithful Christian. He went to Church at Healing Place Church and worked there. He went out this morning to put a sign up by the road when a car side swiped another car and hit him. Let me just say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. To hear that a young man who has touched lives and had the potential to touch many more has passed is truly sad. I can't imagine what his family must be going though. All I can do and all anyone can do is to pray at this moment for him and for the family. I just wish I could be there.
Just to think I have been feeling down about myself and then this happens. Things have been really difficult for me lately. It is one of those things where I feel like I need to be in control of my own life. I want what I want and not what I think God wants me to have. I also don't want to be by myself right now. Friday night I got a little bored around here and just felt alone. I needed to do something, so I went up to Le Moyne to visit with some friends, which ended up being really fun. Then again should I be having fun during the novitiate? Where should I make a balance. I feel at times I am going stir crazy and just want to be free to go out and enjoy myself. The novitiate is just really tough for me right now.
However, Saturday I was busy most of the day. I first went to the Harvest Festival at St. Daniel's to pick up my friend Sonali because we were going to Syracuse University to get an autograph from Apolo Anton Ohno. I really wanted to get it more for my sister because she absolutely loves him. Well I was able to get it and was kind of star struck. By the way the guy has great hair and I am not afraid to tell a guy that he has great hair. Then I went back to the Harvest Festival to help out with what I could. I don't know to many people there, so it was fun to visit with those that I did know.
Today was just a slow day, I worked in the car picking up leaves, which I hated, but it had to get done. I then went to the lake to relax. Came home to read some formation work and then fell asleep then worked on it again. Finally, ended up at Mass at Le Moyne. I just hope things pick back up for me.
Just to think I have been feeling down about myself and then this happens. Things have been really difficult for me lately. It is one of those things where I feel like I need to be in control of my own life. I want what I want and not what I think God wants me to have. I also don't want to be by myself right now. Friday night I got a little bored around here and just felt alone. I needed to do something, so I went up to Le Moyne to visit with some friends, which ended up being really fun. Then again should I be having fun during the novitiate? Where should I make a balance. I feel at times I am going stir crazy and just want to be free to go out and enjoy myself. The novitiate is just really tough for me right now.
However, Saturday I was busy most of the day. I first went to the Harvest Festival at St. Daniel's to pick up my friend Sonali because we were going to Syracuse University to get an autograph from Apolo Anton Ohno. I really wanted to get it more for my sister because she absolutely loves him. Well I was able to get it and was kind of star struck. By the way the guy has great hair and I am not afraid to tell a guy that he has great hair. Then I went back to the Harvest Festival to help out with what I could. I don't know to many people there, so it was fun to visit with those that I did know.
Today was just a slow day, I worked in the car picking up leaves, which I hated, but it had to get done. I then went to the lake to relax. Came home to read some formation work and then fell asleep then worked on it again. Finally, ended up at Mass at Le Moyne. I just hope things pick back up for me.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Zero Regrets
So I am reading a book written by Apolo Anton Ohno entitled "Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday." It isn't a biography of his but it is more of a personal philosophy based off his experiences in the world of speed skating and just in life. I am really enjoying reading the book. I started it yesterday and will finish it by tomorrow. Why would I read a book by a guy who is the most decorated American in U.S. Winter Olympics. Well it just so happens that he will be making a visit to Syracuse on Saturday for a book signing. My first thought was "man my little sister is going to be jealous of me." You have to understand when Apolo was in the 2002 Olympics my little sister was absolutely in love with the guy. Every article he was in she got and cut out. So she pretty much told me that I had to go see him. So I decided to get the book for her as a gift so I can have him autograph it especially for her. I felt that I needed to read the book first, so I could have a better understanding of the guy. I am now a big fan. However, his workout regiments are crazy, I could never and probably will never be in the shape that this guy is in. He is only going to be signing the book for an hour, so I hope I can get there and the line is short. A lot is going on this weekend here on Saturday. The Syracuse football game on Saturday during that time as well as an Equestrian competition and horse show. Hopefully I won't look stupid standing out there.
Other than that, things have been kind of slow, which is good. Right now I am trying to face those things that really lead me down a path to temptation and to act out. It is one of the hardest things I face right now in the novitiate. Not being able to really go and do much, leaving me room for my mind to wander and sometimes it wanders in places I do want it to go. That's when things go downhill. I must stay positive.
Last night, I went with my friend Dan to a Healing Mass in Syracuse. My first one here and I sort of thought it would be like a Charismatic Mass. It wasn't full Charismatic, but it had elements. Dan is going through a lot right now, he is discerning the priesthood and is not getting the kind of support he would like from his immediate family. Sounds a lot like the position I was in. Dan and I have a lot in common. I feel like I can be a support for him. We have both agreed that we are each others best friends because he can talk to me and I can talk to him. It is just nice to have somebody to listen. What I got from the Mass is the sense that I need to stop worrying about myself and start thinking of the others. I am here to serve others and God, not myself. That gives me strenth!
Other than that, things have been kind of slow, which is good. Right now I am trying to face those things that really lead me down a path to temptation and to act out. It is one of the hardest things I face right now in the novitiate. Not being able to really go and do much, leaving me room for my mind to wander and sometimes it wanders in places I do want it to go. That's when things go downhill. I must stay positive.
Last night, I went with my friend Dan to a Healing Mass in Syracuse. My first one here and I sort of thought it would be like a Charismatic Mass. It wasn't full Charismatic, but it had elements. Dan is going through a lot right now, he is discerning the priesthood and is not getting the kind of support he would like from his immediate family. Sounds a lot like the position I was in. Dan and I have a lot in common. I feel like I can be a support for him. We have both agreed that we are each others best friends because he can talk to me and I can talk to him. It is just nice to have somebody to listen. What I got from the Mass is the sense that I need to stop worrying about myself and start thinking of the others. I am here to serve others and God, not myself. That gives me strenth!
Monday, November 1, 2010
So long...
Didn't realize how long it had been since I had last blogged. I have been busy with trying to organize the bowling trip for the next formation program in November. Speaking of November, I can't believe it is already November. It has also been two months since I got back from the Philippines. Time surely does fly by and how I miss so many of my friends back in the Philippines.
This weekend was Halloween, which I am learning is one of my favorites. Br. Dan went with me to see Paranormal Activity 2, which was okay, but I thought the first one was a lot spookier. I also got permission to go visit with some friends at there party. It was a great time. The evening didn't go as expected, but it still turned out alright, something we can look back at and laugh. My friend Dan, who is applying for the Diocese of Syracuse, went with me. Let's just say it was his first time getting drunk, hehe, enough said. I made sure he was okay though. He didn't remember anything the next day, but I reminded him of the Shenanigans. I also realize that I don't need to drink to have a good time.
For Halloween, I passed out candy, but gosh was it freezing here in Syracuse. Let me just say that yesterday we had clear weather, cloudy weather, then rain, sleet, hail, and snow all in one day. Pretty soon it is going to start snowing. So I was brave staying out in the cold weather. I did have some visitors over that knew me, which made it a lot better.
Today had a lot of interesting moments. So when I left the house to attend my spiritual direction, I didn't see this guy on his bike on the side walk because of some hedges well all I heard was like an "ohh oh" then once he got past the car he let out "Watch where you are going asshole." I thought that was interesting, but I legit didn't see him coming. Brian went back to Philly to take care of his mom, so now I have the whole upstairs without anybody else here. I ran into a friar at the gas station, confused him with another order, but then realized that they are starting a new order and he is only one of four. I like them only in the sense that they have Sacred Heart in there name.
The most powerful thing for me this morning though was the feeling that the Blessed Mother was surrounding me and looking out for me. Just reading the signs around me.
This weekend was Halloween, which I am learning is one of my favorites. Br. Dan went with me to see Paranormal Activity 2, which was okay, but I thought the first one was a lot spookier. I also got permission to go visit with some friends at there party. It was a great time. The evening didn't go as expected, but it still turned out alright, something we can look back at and laugh. My friend Dan, who is applying for the Diocese of Syracuse, went with me. Let's just say it was his first time getting drunk, hehe, enough said. I made sure he was okay though. He didn't remember anything the next day, but I reminded him of the Shenanigans. I also realize that I don't need to drink to have a good time.
For Halloween, I passed out candy, but gosh was it freezing here in Syracuse. Let me just say that yesterday we had clear weather, cloudy weather, then rain, sleet, hail, and snow all in one day. Pretty soon it is going to start snowing. So I was brave staying out in the cold weather. I did have some visitors over that knew me, which made it a lot better.
Today had a lot of interesting moments. So when I left the house to attend my spiritual direction, I didn't see this guy on his bike on the side walk because of some hedges well all I heard was like an "ohh oh" then once he got past the car he let out "Watch where you are going asshole." I thought that was interesting, but I legit didn't see him coming. Brian went back to Philly to take care of his mom, so now I have the whole upstairs without anybody else here. I ran into a friar at the gas station, confused him with another order, but then realized that they are starting a new order and he is only one of four. I like them only in the sense that they have Sacred Heart in there name.
The most powerful thing for me this morning though was the feeling that the Blessed Mother was surrounding me and looking out for me. Just reading the signs around me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Come on...
So I haven't posted since Friday.
The weekend was a great weekend. I was able to see all my friends in the formation program which is always fun. However, there were just way to many distractions this weekend. First of all the college campus was having a fall festival across the street from where we were at, so all you could hear was music. It really didn't help that the speaker we had, I felt, was speaking to us all like we were college students and she was the professor. This was my fifth one to go to and the first one where the speaker put information on our tables on how to buy some of her things. We have had other speakers that are authors of books, but never tried to sale there material. She wasn't the most personal person in the world, so that didn't help. It was still great to see everyone. We are in the process of planning a bowling trip for the next program in November, which will be a ton of fun.
Other than that, it has been slow around the house here. I just feel like all the obstacles are coming at me and I don't know how to handle them and I give into them way to easy. I wonder if anybody has ever seriously prayed for the devil, what I mean is the devil and who he is. If he really is an angry person, maybe he needs some prayers and a nice hug, in the hopes that he would leave me alone since I am very vulnerable right now. I must stay positive and beat him through the help of God and the angels that are with me.
I teach 5th graders religion once a week and really don't know if what I am doing is really reaching out to these kids. Well today I got the affirmation I was looking for. I wanted my kids to go home and pray the rosary with there family every night. We all know how hard that could be for 5th graders and especially with parents who might not care so much about there faith. This one girl in my class actually asked her parents to pray the rosary with her and they did and the mom was so impressed that she called the director of religion education to commend me on that. I was in complete shock and my heart was filled with joy because even if I have an influence on just one child, then I am doing my job. So when she was picked up today her mom had made me some apple crisp, which was really good. My goal is to reach all the kids.
The weekend was a great weekend. I was able to see all my friends in the formation program which is always fun. However, there were just way to many distractions this weekend. First of all the college campus was having a fall festival across the street from where we were at, so all you could hear was music. It really didn't help that the speaker we had, I felt, was speaking to us all like we were college students and she was the professor. This was my fifth one to go to and the first one where the speaker put information on our tables on how to buy some of her things. We have had other speakers that are authors of books, but never tried to sale there material. She wasn't the most personal person in the world, so that didn't help. It was still great to see everyone. We are in the process of planning a bowling trip for the next program in November, which will be a ton of fun.
Other than that, it has been slow around the house here. I just feel like all the obstacles are coming at me and I don't know how to handle them and I give into them way to easy. I wonder if anybody has ever seriously prayed for the devil, what I mean is the devil and who he is. If he really is an angry person, maybe he needs some prayers and a nice hug, in the hopes that he would leave me alone since I am very vulnerable right now. I must stay positive and beat him through the help of God and the angels that are with me.
I teach 5th graders religion once a week and really don't know if what I am doing is really reaching out to these kids. Well today I got the affirmation I was looking for. I wanted my kids to go home and pray the rosary with there family every night. We all know how hard that could be for 5th graders and especially with parents who might not care so much about there faith. This one girl in my class actually asked her parents to pray the rosary with her and they did and the mom was so impressed that she called the director of religion education to commend me on that. I was in complete shock and my heart was filled with joy because even if I have an influence on just one child, then I am doing my job. So when she was picked up today her mom had made me some apple crisp, which was really good. My goal is to reach all the kids.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Maspeth, New York
This blog is coming to you from Maspeth, New York. You might be wondering where Maspeth is, well Maspeth is in Queens, which is a suburb of New York City. I can go out on the roof and see Manhattan. I am staying the night with the Brothers in Maspeth because tomorrow morning Br. Dan, Brian, and I will head to Morristown, New Jersey, which is only an hour away for our formation program. I am so excited for this weekend you have no idea. It is something about being with other people in formation that really recharges a person and that is how I feel alive, refreshed, and super charged. The people in the program are all super great. It should be a fun weekend and I will blog about it once the weekend is over.
Now, nothing really exciting happened to me this week. I had my good moments and bad moments this week. I really felt I struggled during prayer this week as well, I guess I just had way to many distractions. Hopefully next week will be a better week. I am trying to live out this life the best that I can and it is not going to be an easy task, but hopefully my prayer regardless of how it is will keep me strong.
Now that I think about it, something great did happen. I was able to skype with Br. Chris down in Brazil and got to chat with some of our Postulants over there. Grant there english wasn't the best, but we all tried. It was really great and makes you realize how connected you are to people even though you can't speak the language.
Something else that has been on my mind. I go to the gym almost everyday and try to get some exercise everyday, but those darn mirrors at the gym I think are there to make a person look bigger than what they actually are. I hate to looking at them, when I look at them I see this huge guy and then I get so self-conscious about my weight. So my goal should be not to look at the mirrors, but it is kind of hard when they are on the walls in the gym. Oh Lord please give me the strength.
Now, nothing really exciting happened to me this week. I had my good moments and bad moments this week. I really felt I struggled during prayer this week as well, I guess I just had way to many distractions. Hopefully next week will be a better week. I am trying to live out this life the best that I can and it is not going to be an easy task, but hopefully my prayer regardless of how it is will keep me strong.
Now that I think about it, something great did happen. I was able to skype with Br. Chris down in Brazil and got to chat with some of our Postulants over there. Grant there english wasn't the best, but we all tried. It was really great and makes you realize how connected you are to people even though you can't speak the language.
Something else that has been on my mind. I go to the gym almost everyday and try to get some exercise everyday, but those darn mirrors at the gym I think are there to make a person look bigger than what they actually are. I hate to looking at them, when I look at them I see this huge guy and then I get so self-conscious about my weight. So my goal should be not to look at the mirrors, but it is kind of hard when they are on the walls in the gym. Oh Lord please give me the strength.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Slow
For the most part the past few days have been kind of slow. However, on Friday I was able to take Br. Inosessio, who is from our province in Oceania around Syracuse. We first made a pit stop at Dinosaur BBQ for lunch. That place is one of the big places to eat at here in Syracuse. Unfortunately Friday was a very cold and rainy day here in Syracuse, so I could really show him much. We did walk around Lake Onondaga, but it wasn't long because we were getting wet. I wanted to get back to the house at a decent time to welcome Brian our new candidate into the house. He is a really nice guy and I am glad that he has joined us. I know he still has a lot to deal with back in Philadelphia, but he now has a community to help him out.
Saturday I really didn't do too much besides going to the gym with Brian and spending my time in prayer. What was nice about my prayer especially for the 19th Annotated, which deals with the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, is that it had be reflecting on the high and low points in my life. It was really nice because most of the high points I could see how God's hand was guiding me, but even in the bad moments, they were learning experiences, experiences I needed to learn to do what I am doing today. Isn't God grand! It was just really nice to think of all the good moments. I couldn't have asked for a better way of growing up. I also sang at Mass at St. Daniel's with the choir. They are such a great group of people. They are all really supportive and all enjoy laughing. The choir director is super sweet, even when I do mess up and I know when I mess up, she always lifts my spirits up.
Today turned out to be an incredible day. I first got up and cut the grass, which I enjoy doing. My goal was to go to the lake to spend my time in prayer because today's reflection dealt with creation and what a great way to be in creation then somewhere very beautiful. However, the plans changed and Br. Dan, Brian, and I went to Chittenango Falls about 20 miles from us. Gosh was it beautiful. Although I wasn't able to meditate silently or to myself, but just seeing the natural beauty of the world was really nice. New York should be opening up more state parks then closing them because they are nice and right now free to get into. What made the trip beautiful also was driving to get there and seeing all the beautiful leaves change. I am really going to miss this of the year once I move back down in the south. Fall is always incredible here. Pretty soon though we are going to have snow.
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